


It's just a casual affair

by Fxndom_writter



Category: Panic! at the Disco, The Young Veins
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mention of sex, Mild Smut, Therapy, alcoholics, mentions of drug abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-27 00:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14413518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fxndom_writter/pseuds/Fxndom_writter
Summary: Brendon goes to his weekly therapy session and tells his love story





	It's just a casual affair

Brendon had to go to his weekly therapy sessions as he has been getting many panic attacks and he doesn't know why, for years he's had anxiety but never this bad. He hears a certain name he freaks out, he thinks of a certain flower he freaks out, once a fan said his name and showed Brendon an old poster with him on it and he passes out, luckily brallon being his coolest friends helped him snap out of it.  
Well kind of. He was being his clumsy self and spilt water on him by accident and Brendon woke up. Now Brendon was here, in the now familiar therapist office sitting on a brown leather couch whilst he was facing a woman with a bright smile and a notepad in hand.  
"Hello mr urie, how are you today?" She said  
"I'm good," Brendon replied genuinely   
"So I know I ask this every week, but would you like to explain to me what he did to you?" She asked hastily. She was new to the job,in her late twenties and she wasn't at all a professional but she was the best he could find for his certain problem and age group.  
"Maybe I should," Brendon said with a hitch. If he didn't think about it, he wouldn't cry, no thinking, crying. Brendon didn't want to think about that night in August, the year of 2008, his sun, how he was an idiot.

"It all started during 2004," Brendon said

\----------------------------

"You're now listening to kerrang radio, and at number one this week is my Chems newest song, Helena," a radio played next to Brendon's bed.  
He got dressed into some random band shirt, that was hanging from his bed as it reeked off weed from smoking it all night with his friends.  
Today was Saturday but he had music rehearsals cause his teachers hate him apparently! And Brendon at least had his friend in that class called Brent who was cool.

"Mr urie!" He yelled  
"Mr Wilson!" I also yelled   
"Urie, you think you can do a favor for me?" He asked  
"Yeah whats up?" I asked  
"Well I'm in this band with a few of my friends but I really don't want to do it anymore, it's boring," Brent said, "so could you take my space in the band?" He asked  
"Hmm, well I've never been in a band before, yeah I'll do it," Brendon shrugged   
"Cool," he said. He got a slip of paper and wrote 2 names  
Spencer and Ryan. And he put down phone numbers next to them.  
"Call them and talk about it," he said.  
\--------------------------------

I paused and took a deep breath at my story as a tear dropped out of my eye.  
The therapist, named Nicole, handed me a tissue.   
"Here, you're doing much better," she said. I guess she was honest cause that's the first time he ever had said Ryan without screaming and crying.  
I then continued my story

\-------------------------------------

Later that night I called them and they answered  
"Hi who is this?" Ryan? asked  
"Um Brent willsons friend, he said he quits the band and wants me to take his place, we are in the same class for guitar so um yeah," I said nervously   
"Well this is spencer here, and yeah you seem ok, Ryan went off to the bathroom but meet us at the McDonald's by palo verde school at like 5pm tomorrow," spencer said  
Spencer presumably used his phone as he left it there.

The following day I was really pumped for school, my first band I've ever joined, plus it might be fun.  
By the time I get to Mcdonalds there's only 5 tables with people there, one with some little kids, one with a bunch of soccer moms, one with teenage girls talking about something and one with an old man but then I found them, a group of teenage boys.  
"Hi are you two Ryan and spencer?" I asked nervously  
"Yeah, you must be Brendon!" One of them said  
"Hi I'm Spencer," he said whilst smiling   
"And I'm Ryan," Ryan said, gosh Ryan was beautiful, he was a slender boy with eyeliner and looked like your stereotypical MySpace boy but, his voice had an indistinguishable accent. I liked him.  
"Hi spencer, hi Ryan," I said casually.  
"So you up for intense practice?" Spencer asked.

 

I agreed and the rest of the night proceeded till I played their first song, time to dance.  
I had to admit I found Ryan really really cute.  
As soon as I was about to go home, it was just Ryan and I there.  
"So Brendon," he said  
"Yes Ryan?" I asked  
"Would you, like to go on a date with me?" He asked  
"Erm....yes?" I said  
"Yay I just thought you were really cute, he said whilst tapping my nose,"   
He was adorable.  
"Aw, such a cute little Ryan," I said whilst kissing his cheek.  
He turned red and he was absolutely adorable.

 

Our first date was in a music shop.  
"This is great," I told him  
"Yeah," he said whilst holding my hand.  
We walked to the local park late at night. You could see your local pot heads and drunk men at this time of night, but by the small pond Ryan and I just sat there, my head on his shoulder and that day was our first kiss.

 

Time flies with our band, as we get a new member Jon, Ryan and I in a committed relationship and an actual record label and to my huge icon, Pete wentz! It was amazing, our first album a fever you can't sweat out being released.  
Ryan and I got very close and our other band mates found out about us when they found my ass around Ryan's dick backstage in Ryan's dressing room.  
Well to be fair most of the band members already could tell and Pete already assumed us to be dating but funnily enough Jon and spencer betted on if we were dating or not.

Of corse they were, they betted on everything against eachother.

Once we were cock blocked by good old spencer once we left the room we knew we had a lot of explaining to do

"So you and Ryan have been dating for two years, have had regular fuck sessions without us knowing in literally the room next to us and haven't told any of your 'girlfriends'," spencer said confused   
"Yeah more or less," Ryan shrugged   
"So why date them if you like Brendon?" He asked

A lightbulb went off In our heads.  
We were planning on breaking up with our girlfriends soon but we didn't exactly know how to tell our girlfriends 'yeah so I've been dating Ryan this whole time and I'm not actually straight' we only really dated them for public image if I'm being honest.

"So, um, I want to break up," I told my girlfriend  
"Why? Oh wait let me guess, it's Ryan he turned you gay?" She asked  
"No, wait how did you-"  
"Oh come one Brendon, I'm close with his girlfriend we've been suspecting for months you two are dating especially when you sometimes come home covered him hickeys after a show," she said  
"Oh," I said  
"It's cool, we can still be friends though," I smiled  
"That's cool, I don't care what we are but Ryan's girlfriend, yeesh she Only dated him cause he was famous and knew Pete and had money," she said,"don't worry, I don't care about that I come from a rich family," she shrugged,"well I'm off, see you soon Brendon,"she then went off into the night  
"Well that went well," I said to myself  
I called Ryan that night and he picked up  
"Hey Brendon," he said  
"Hi,"   
"So, my girlfriend didn't actually like me this whole time, she also beat me up, can I stay at yours?" He asked  
"Of corse honey, I'll be home in 10 you have keys so yeah," I said trying to sound reassuring  
"Thanks," 

I come home and to my surprise see Ryan making tea in my kitchen   
"Hey Bren," he said,"want some,"   
"No I'm good, but tell me what happened," I said  
Ryan gulped  
"Well, I told her I don't feel the same way and I love someone else, she said she knew it was you and she said she never liked me and used me, when I told her I won't give her anything anymore she punched me and kicked me, then left," he winced slightly as presumably she kicked his back  
"Oh ry, where?" I asked rushing to him  
"Here, here, here and here," he pointed to his stomach, back eye and crotch.  
I was almost in tears to see him in pain when I went to give him a kiss I noticed his eye was covered in make up, I rubbed his cheek to gently smear it off with the now flowing tears down his face to see around his eye was a yellowish murky brown  
"I was hoping you wouldn't see that," he said   
I gave him a hug   
"Let's go to bed, it's getting late,"   
I got a phone call from Jon at about two am  
"Brendon, have you seen like every social media ever!?" He said sounding distressed  
"No, why?" I said sleepily  
"Well yours and Ryan's ex girlfriends decided to post over your pages about how Ryan turned you gay, it's everywhere and quite scary,"   
"Ryan wake up," I shook him until he woke up  
"I'm up, what time is it?" He asked hazily   
"Our exes decided to out us online!" I said  
"Ah so you and Ryan are hooking up st-"   
" no Jon, he was sad as his girlfriend hurt him so I comforted him and we fell asleep, nothing sexual about it," I said flatly  
"So how many people have seen it?" Ryan asked  
"Well, it has about 3,000 likes on daily booth and has only been up for three hours," he said.  
"What!?" I yelled  
"What say he?" Ryan said sleepily  
How cute he messed up his words as he was tired, wait where was I? Oh yeah  
"So it's been up for three hours and has about 3,000 likes on dairy booth," I said  
"Agh! That's only the people who liked, only liked! Not screen shotted and shared!" Ryan screamed. He cried and I gave him a. Hug with reassuring words to calm him down  
"Hey Jon, I gotta go,"   
"Ok, bye Bren,"   
"It's gonna be ok," I said whilst cradling him and giving him little kisses

 

 

Skip to a few years later 2008, where pretty odd was out and that's when things started turning down hill.  
I thought Ryan and brendon as a thing, kind of well I didn't know how long I wanted it to last but he proposed to me and I didn't know what to do  
I was so young at the time, not even 25!  
I said no and that broke his heart.

"Fine I get it," Ryan sighed  
"Ryan, when we started this I warned you that you might get emotionally attached to me," I said  
And he did  
"I don't care, do it? Brendon I love you," he said sounding defeated   
"I-" he couldn't finish the sentence  
"We should take a break, you are too attached to me, I'm scared for you ry," I said.  
That was the last I saw of Ryan Ross.......until about 3 years later.

He went on to start another band, the young veins! With Jon.

Spencer and I were left to carry out panic! But as we did, spencer realized how much me and Ryan splitting effected me, I began drinking much more, I became high not for fun with my mates but to distract me from sadness, and to make things worse my music showed it too, I can only name one song on the whole of vices that is not about Ryan, and that album is 10 tracks long! 

Once spencer left the band during 2012 to treat his drug addiction he had a 'brilliant idea'   
He called up Ryan.

"Hey Ryan," he said  
"Hey spencer, heard the news," he said sound slightly sad  
"Yeah listen could you do me a favor?" He asked  
"Well what is it?" He asked  
"Um its Brendon, since you left he, he's fucking not the same! He's depressed and drinks more than ever and gets high to forget! Like have you heard our new album! It's not panic! It's Brendon's having a breakdown!" He said  
"How can I help then? He can't date me it's too late he's got a wife," he sighed  
"I know a way," spencer said.

 

That night I was going to a show Chicago for my friends bachelor party when spencer was there and he handed me a paper

'For those who dare, go to the place of the faire,' a faire? As in a fun faire  
'By the golden gates, let's see what awaits,' oh is this a game the guys are doing, I'm not drunk so I'll Be able to figure this out.  
My mind was at war, surprise or alcohol, surprise or alcohol, eh fuck it surprise it is  
As I left no one noticed and I knew there was one faire tonight down town in Illinois.  
I hopped on a bus and I was on my way 

\----mean while-----  
Spencer looked out and knew Brendon was gone, perfect.  
"Hey Ryan?" He asked  
"Yeah?"   
"He's on his way, keep a look out for a man in a really shines golden suit an-"  
"Found him gotta go," and he hung up  
\----------------------

 

I asked a friendly woman where the golden gates were and it turns out it was the name of the 2nd exit. She pointed to a little further down and a golden gate   
I walked down and as I did I thought i saw someone that looked familiar,nah probably just my mind  
"Brendon," he said  
It was Ryan, time to die  
" hi Ryan, long time no see," I say.  
We pull in for a hug.  
"Ah, so I heard you were a bit down lately so I thought time for a cheer up!" He smiled   
"A fun fair?" I laughed  
" see you're happier already!" He said  
"You nerd," I said whilst sticking out my tongue   
"Says the man in a shiny suit,"   
"Fine you win, what do you wanna do first?" I asked  
"I was actually planning on getting some cotton candy," he said  
"Yeah!" I said like an excited child

 

"Ah what can I get this lovely couple today," the woman working at the stand said   
"Oh we-" I said but was cut of by Ryan  
"Oh we don't know yet, how about some blue cotton candy on a stick and for him?" He questioned looking at me  
"One with all the colours!" I said  
Ryan smirked then wrapped his arm around my hip.  
I leaned my head into his shoulder whilst eating my cotton candy  
"What do you want to do now?" He asked," it's all up to you this is your treat,"   
"Hmm," I said whilst looking around the park. Whilst looking a fariswheel caught my eye   
"Let's go there," I said pointing to the huge wheel  
"Ok cupcake," he said.  
Once on the ride we looked over the beautiful city and once at the top the ride stopped.  
"Please excuse us for minor delays, we are sorry for inconvenience," said the man on the speaker  
"Well I guess we are Stuck," I giggled  
"Yeah I guess so,"  
I stared at Ryan and he starred at me we then kissed.  
It felt so wrong cause I was a married man but it felt so right because it was...magical. Everytime I use to kiss Ryan for years and years it always felt magical.  
It never felt magical with Sarah, I loved her but, I don't even know  
The ride proceeded and turned out a woman was giving birth, lovely  
"So that was fun," I laughed  
"Let's go speed ball!" Ryan jumped as we noticed a speed ball stand  
He was like a child, it was intoxicating. 

As he felt so manly getting the best score on speedball I just stared in awe at the dorky nerd named Ryan infront of me.  
"You're quite good at this," I grinned  
"How about, i beat you, you have to stay the night with me," he said charmingly  
I smiled at that  
"You're on!"

As you could imagine that night I was in Ryan's hotel room.  
Two men giggling in the corridors desperately making their way into a room  
"Y-youuuuu, are soooooo much fun urieeee," he said giggling  
"You're, not so baaaad, Rossssss," Brendon said almost falling over.  
There was a shoot of lust in his eyes as he leaned in and kissed me.  
I accepted the Kiss and we were making out in his hotel room.  
That still was one of the best nights of my life.  
"You wanna sleep?" Ryan asked  
"Yeah," I panted trying to catch my breath.  
I kissed him again.  
"You really are adventurous," Ryan chuckled  
"Come on, just for tonight's?" I said already removing his clothing.  
"Eh fuck it, you only live once," we both proceeded to remover our clothes until we were naked on his bed and the room was no longer filled with giggles and laughs, but moans and breaths.

"Ryannnnnnn," I breathed.  
He smiled and laid down next to me nuzzling my hair.  
"I missed you Ryan, and I still love you so so much," I said truthfully.  
"Me too," he breathed.  
I kissed him again  
"Good night babe,"  
He said into my shoulder and cradled me to sleep.

 

We woke up the following morning,with bad hangovers.  
"WHat happEnD," I said lifting my head  
"I don't know the last thing I re- oh no," Ryan said gasping   
"We fucked," we both said at the same time.  
We didn't scream, we just was there in silence just staring at each other hopping the other had a explanation, we didn't.  
"So, I don't tell my wife, you don't tell anyone, deal?" I said finally   
"Brendon......" Ryan said quietly   
"Yes?"  
"Do you still love me?" He asked me

Did I?  
I'm sure I'm over him, but, I miss him but it's too late i have Sarah and-  
"Yes, I do," I said   
Ryan was about to cry  
"Cause, I do too," he said

We just stared at each other to process what one another said.

"I missed you," I said pulling him closer then kissing him.

\------------------

"I had to go back to la and so did he. Ever since then we've been hanging out every few weeks when I'm not busy every now and then.  
And to be honest I've never been so happy," I told Nicole

She nodded her head and smiled," do you have anything to add?" She asked

"We haven't talked about the affair ever since," I said whilst looking at my shoes ashamed of myself

"It's okay Brendon, it was just a, a casual affair as I'd put it, sure it's not an amazing thing but if you know it's wrong and it's in the past, it should be fine, keep talking to Ryan, keep staying with Sarah, and have fun," Nicole said," and our session is up, I'll se you next week Brendon, think positives!" She said as I walked out the door happily

 

That night was the second of my many casual affairs to come.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was bored and created this 
> 
> Leave kudos plz
> 
> See yalls later bye XD


End file.
